Among Schoolchildren
by littledaybreaker
Summary: Crossover with The Way The Crow Flies, by AnnMarie MacDonald. Rush and Valens reinvestigate the 1963 murder of a 9yearold girl and come to an astonishing conclusion. Chap. 14 up as of September 20, 2005the final chapter!
1. Chapter 1

"Claire McCarroll, nine years old. Raped then murdered back in '63." Scotty set the box down grimly.

Lilly shuddered visibly. "Cause of death?"

"Strangulation."

"Suspects back in '63?"

"Fifteen-year-old Richard Froelich was incriminated with basically no evidence, sentenced to death. He was eventually paroled under a new name. We got a tip from a girl out in Lehigh Point. She says that her fourth grade teacher, Mr March, sexually abused a group of his students and that Claire was among them."

Lilly shuddered again and started lifting things out of the box. Claire had been a pretty little girl, short shiny dark hair in a pixie cut and a shy smile. Lilly smiled slightly at the little girl and set the photo aside, moving on to the more gruesome aspects of the box: autopsy reports, photos of the body. "Scotty, was there any DNA harvested at the scene?"

"It was essentially a perfect murder. Ceremonial, almost. No DNA, no fingerprints, no semen. Her body wasn't even natural. Her eyes were closed."

"That doesn't give us a whole lot to go on." Lilly sighed, almost defeated. "Witnesses?"

"Three girls testified at the original trial: Marjorie Nolan, Grace Novotny and Madeleine McCarthy. Grace is in some kind of "independent living" place, Marjorie teaches kindergarten and Madeleine's last known address is six blocks from here."

"We'll talk to them in that order, Grace, Marjorie, Madeleine."

* * *

"Grace Novotny? My name is Lilly."

Grace's blond hair was tied haphazardly in a ponytail. Her blue eyes veered and her hands wrung nervously. "Why are you here?" she asked, her voice a low, keening cry. Lilly could see Grace as she must have looked 40 years ago, as a little girl in a too-big dress and rubber boots, two pigtails fastened with plain elastic bands, mouth chapped, hands wandering.

"Do you remember Claire McCarroll, Grace?" Lilly asked gently.

"Noooooooo," Grace moaned. "Noooo…"

"It's okay, Grace," Lilly said. "Try to remember."

"Noooo…" Grace started to cry. Lilly and Scotty glanced at each other.

"If you don't want to talk, Grace, we'll come back later," Lilly offered.

Grace groaned. "Yes…" she muttered.

As they walked out of the house, Scotty groaned. "That got us nowhere."

"Don't talk like that," Lilly said. "We've still got Marjorie and Madeleine."

"Yeah. I just hope they _can_ talk."

Lilly gave him a look but said nothing. "Let's go see Marjorie."

* * *

The kindergarten where Marjorie taught was a bright, benevolent building. Smiling suns with names decorated the windows. A short woman with dark blonde ringlets walked up to Lilly and Scotty.

"Hello," she said primly. "I'm Miss Nolan, and you are…?"

"Detectives Rush and Valens, homicide."

"Oh my. Children, it's story time. Miss Evans will read you a story. Go sit on your mats, please!"

Lilly could see Marjorie as a little girl, bossy and prim, constantly trying to reform Grace.

"Marjorie, we're reinvestigating the 1963 homicide of Claire McCarroll."

Marjorie's bright stature darkened. "Oh, it was Ricky Froelich," she said instantly, tossing her curls. "I thought he was in prison?"

"No, Marjorie. That's what they thought in 1963. Now we're reinvestigating it because somebody phoned us and gave us a bit of information about your teacher, Mr. March."

Marjorie's eyes instantly flashed anger. "I'm teaching…"

"We understand. We can come back at a more convenient time."

Marjorie smiled condescendingly. "You do that," she said.

Walking out of the school, Scotty threw his hands up in defeat. "Maybe, just maybe, Madeleine will have something."

* * *

"Madeleine McCarthy?"

"The one and only." She grinned.

"We're detectives Rush and Valens, from homicide."

"I guess joking about 'dying' to meet you would be inappropriate."

Scotty laughed. "Just a little. We're here about Claire McCarroll."

"Have I gone back in time?" Madeleine grinned.

"We investigate cold cases," Lilly explained. "Cases that ceased investigation."

Madeleine nodded. "It wasn't Ricky."

"That's what we're trying to prove," Scotty said. "You knew Claire?"

"Sort of. She was really shy. All of the girls wanted her to be their friends but she had no specific group. On the day she was…taken…we had a picnic in the schoolyard and then she went on a bike-hike with Ricky…and that was the last anyone saw of her."

"Madeleine, were you in Mr. March's fourth grade class?"

Madeleine nodded slowly. "I'll remember him forever," she said sadly.

_A/N: Ok, so I've decided to do a case-centric fanfiction. See the disclaimer! PS: Feedback is nice. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Lilly, Scotty, the rest of the homicide squad, Christina and any other Cold Case people belong to Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS. Madeleine, Claire, Marjorie, Grace and anyone from the case itself belongs to Ann-Marie MacDonald and The Way The Crow Flies. _


	2. Chapter 2

"We got absolutely nowhere," Scotty sighed, flopping back in his chair.

"Well, Madeleine's information on Mr. March was very…" Lilly tried.

Scotty cut her off. "He's dead."

"Well, maybe it wasn't Mr. March at all," Lilly tried. "It could have been anybody!"

"Oh, come on, Lil," Scotty groaned. "He sexually abused those little girls for eight months. He played strangulation games with them. And when did he stop?"

Lilly tensed. "May. Okay, I'll give you that, but maybe, just maybe it scared him into stopping."

"Why would anyone do that anyway? I just can't imagine looking at a little kid and…"

Lilly chewed on her bottom lip and shrugged. "Let's go see Marjorie," she said quietly.

* * *

"Oh. You again," Marjorie said coldly, hands on her hips.

"Is now a better time?" Lilly asked.

"I suppose," Marjorie said snobbishly. "I just can't imagine why you would want to reopen a so obviously cut and dried case." She flipped her hair out of her face.

"Marjorie, you were in Mr. March's 'after-school exercise group'," Lilly said. Marjorie visibly stiffened.

"And we know what that 'exercise group' was," Scotty added.

Marjorie looked lost. "No you don't," she said.

_Oh Marjorie, _Lilly thought. _I do understand. I'm so sorry. _

"Marjorie, we only want to help you," she said softly.

"You're never going to help me," Marjorie hissed. "You don't understand and you never will. I know hall about your type of people. You pretend to know what people are going through so they'll talk to you. In all honesty, you don't know squat."

There seemed to be a stick of dynamite inside of Lilly that was threatening combustion. "Marjorie, I can't read your mind and you sure as hell can't read mine. Don't you ever, ever say that I don't know what it feels like to go through what you have because I do, I do, and I really understand and if you'd just tell me, we'd be able to help you. We can't fix it, though we'd love to, but we can give you some peace of mind." Marjorie blinked. Scotty looked at his partner in disbelief.

"I…was the boss of the exercise group," Marjorie said slowly. "When he was…done…with us, I handed out candy."

Lilly unclenched her fists and sat on a nearby chair. "He gave you candy? To keep you quiet?"

Marjorie nodded. "It was only a game," she said softly.

"What was?" Scotty asked.

"Grace and I were only pretending. It was just make-believe. We didn't mean to…"

"Didn't mean to do what, Marjorie?" Lilly asked gently.

"Nothing," Marjorie said briskly. "Now, why are you still here? Please don't come back again."

* * *

"I heard about your blowout," Stillman told Lilly when she and Scotty returned to the office. "Are you okay? Vera or Jeffries could…"

"I'm fine," Lilly said calmly. "I don't need anyone to take over my position." She looked up and saw the gentle concern in Stillman's expression. "Really. It just…struck a chord. Sorry. It won't happen again." Lilly returned to poring over Claire's autopsy report.

Stillman watched her for a moment then said, "You should go home. The files aren't going to move. Get some rest and come back in the morning."

_A/N: In Chapter Three…a not-so-revealing flashback to 1963! What didn't Grace and Marjorie mean to do? (dun dun dun,. I know and yo-ou don't!) Will Lilly crack?_


	3. Chapter 3

_(Not-so-revealing flashback to May 1963)_

"_I'm bored." Nine-year-old Madeleine looked around the playground bleakly. She and her best friend, Ricky's 12-year-old sister Colleen, were standing in the playground of JA MacCurdy elementary school, fifteen minutes after school had let out._

"_Me too." Colleen was sharpening a Popsicle stick against a rock. _

"_What do you wanna do?" Madeleine asked. From across the playground she could hear the sounds of other girls and some teachers getting ready for the flying up ceremony, to take place after supper. Madeleine's intention had been to help, but she changed her mind when Colleen showed up. _

"_I dunno." Colleen looked reproachfully over at the girls._

"_Wanna go to Rock Bass?" Madeleine asked. Rock Bass was a popular hangout for the neighbourhood kids. _

"_Maybe." Colleen shrugged._

"_Are you coming to the flying up?"_

"_No. I gots better things to do." Colleen tested the tip of her Popsicle stick knife against her leg._

"_There's Claire." Madeleine pointed across the playground. _

_Claire rode up to Madeleine and Colleen on her pink bicycle with fat tires, still wearing her blue school dress. She was holding a yellow buttercup, clutched delicately in her hand. _

"_Do you like butter?" she asked, dismounting her bike. She was very frisky for Claire, which surprised Madeleine. Claire held the buttercup up to Colleen's chin and giggled. "Yeah, you like butter," she informed Colleen. She held another one up to Madeleine's chin. "You _love_ butter," she laughed. _

_Marjorie marched up to them just then, clutching a daisy. _

"_Ricky loves me, Ricky loves me not, Ricky loves me…" Marjorie was talking to loud, standing too close, to possibly be ignoring Madeleine and Claire like she was pretending to. Colleen gave her a weird look and turned to Madeleine, making the "cuckoo" sign next to her temple. Madeleine watched her pull two petals off at the same time, cheating. "Haha, Ricky loves me-ee," she chanted. Madeleine shrugged. _

"_Where're you going?" Colleen asked Claire._

_Claire sighed romantically. "To Rock Bass with Ricky," she breathed._

_Madeleine smiled and started to hum "Beautiful Dreamer". Even Colleen grinned. They both knew that Claire was just wishfully thinking. No big deal._

"_Want to come, too?" Claire offered politely. "We can see if we can find a nest."_

_Colleen and Madeleine shook their heads. "No thanks. We're going to go for a walk," Madeleine said. "Thanks for offering." _

_Claire smiled. "It's okay," she said quietly. "Want to share the picnic now?" she pulled her lunchbox off of her wrist and opened it, scrupulously dividing the snack: a disc of Babybel cheese, a chocolate cupcake with blue icing and some apple slices. Claire's last meal. They ate, careful to leave some 'for the animals'. Madeleine took the wax from the cheese and made a pair of lady lips, making Claire laugh. _

"_Hey, you know what I seen at Rock Bass?" Colleen asked Claire, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand._

_Claire shrugged. "What?" she asked._

"_Baby rabbits. They gots a den right under the big maple tree." _

"_Wow. Thanks Colleen." Claire waved and rode off on her bike. _

_Once Claire was out of earshot, Madeleine hit Colleen's arm playfully. " 'Thanks, Colleen'," she mimicked. Colleen grinned and pulled Madeleine into a headlock, fiercely rubbing the top of her scalp with her knuckles until Madeleine begged for mercy, then she stopped and calmly walked off._

"_Wait up, Colleen!" Madeleine ran after her. _

_From the school, she could hear the last strains of the band rehearsing. Madeleine outran them. "_It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world."

* * *

_Claire rode past Ricky's house just as he was washing the station wagon. His fourteen-year-old sister, Elizabeth, was perched in her wheelchair under a big yellow blanket, watching. Their German Shepherd, Rex, trotted out to the front of the lawn to greet Claire._

"_Hi, Ricky," she said shyly._

"_Hi, pal," he said, waving amicably._

"_Hi, Elizabeth," she said, walking over to the wheelchair. _

"_Ay, 'Laire." Elizabeth clutches a baby cup, the kind with a spout and lid, tightly in her fist. _

"_What are you drinking?" asked Claire._

"_Emoway," says Elizabeth, and laughs her weightless laugh. Claire giggles too._

"_Lemonade," translates Ricky._

"_Oh. Is it good, Elizabeth?" _

_Elizabeth nodded in all directions and almost fell out of the wheelchair. Claire glanced over at Ricky again. He was wearing his clean red jeans and a white t-shirt, red sneakers on his feet._

"_You look nice today," Claire commented politely. _

"_You think so? Thanks pal." He smiled brightly at the little girl._

"_What are you doing?" _

"_I'm washing the car, pal."_

"_Do you want to come for a picnic?"_

"_Aw, I'm sorry, kiddo. I promised Elizabeth I'd take her for a run."_

"_Oh."_

"_Do you want a drink?"_

"_Oh, yes please!" _

_Ricky offered her a drink from the hose, cold clear water. Claire thanked him, patted Elizabeth and then Rex, and rode off. _

"_You ready to go, Lizzie?" Ricky asked. _

"_I Rek umming?" Elizabeth asked._

"_I don't think so. It might be too hot for him. He's very furry." Ricky considered the dog._

"_Ing sah wa-ah," Elizabeth suggested._

"_Great idea. Thanks!" he jogged into the house for a canteen. _

_Ten minutes later, Claire was on the dirt road to Rock Bass. It took her longer than it should have because after she talked to Ricky, she stopped to watch some boys and their dads building a go-cart. _

_She stopped again just by Madeleine's front yard because she thought she could hear someone calling ever-so-softly, "Claire…Claire…" She looked around for the voice but couldn't see anyone. She got off her bike and lay on her stomach, peering down the drainpipe, imagining a little elf coming to take her away to the land of the elves and fairies. She notices a little ladybug climbing up her arm and smiled. _

"_It was you, wasn't it?" she said to the ladybug, stroking the hard shell. "It's okay, your children are safe. Now fly away home," she told the ladybug. It flew away, and she got back onto her bike. _

_By the time Claire finally reached the end of the dirt road, she forgot that she wasn't allowed into the woods alone. She had been so intently set in the fact that she was going with Ricky that when he had turned her down, she kept traveling alone. She heard her name again, softly, "Claire…Hey, Claire…" and thought it must have been her conscience, reminding her to be home in time for supper and Brownies. She was going to become a Brownie for real that afternoon. She began to pedal as fast as her legs could carry her. She was turning into the woods when Ricky jogged up behind her, pushing Elizabeth and holding Rex's leash. Claire was out of breath from pedalling so hard and Ricky stopped, attached Rex's leash to the handle of her bike and the foursome travelled on. _

* * *

_Meanwhile, Madeleine and Colleen had finally decided to go to the willow tree, which overlooked the dirt road to Rock Bass. They had cut across people's lawns, and a kid threw a stick at Madeleine. Madeleine picked the stick up and carried it, wielding it like a sword. They stopped at a nearby convenience store with the intent to buy an orange soda. _

"_Ricky gives me allowance from his paper route," Colleen explained as she bought the soda. They left the store quickly, pretending to be soldiers at war, slithering on their stomachs through the tall grass, making sure that Marjorie and Grace haven't followed them. _

"_Phew, that was close," Madeleine said. Colleen nodded appreciatively and opened the bottle, taking a sip and handing it to Madeleine, who likewise sipped, then wiped the bottle with the hem of her t-shirt. _

"_Coast is clear," Colleen reported._

"_Come on." Madeleine half-pulled Colleen towards the main road. _

_She heard the sound of footsteps and howled "DUCK!". She pulled Colleen into a ditch and aimed an imaginary rifle at the enemy: Ricky, pushing Elizabeth's wheelchair and Rex pulling Claire on her bike. _

"_Would you look at that," laughed Colleen._

"_She really was goin' on a picnic with Ricky, nyah, a Ricknic, that's the ticket!"_

"_Doubt it," Colleen said dubiously. _

"_We can find out," said Madeleine. "Just wait and see if he turns down the road with her or not." _

"_I gots better things to do." Colleen stood up, picking up the straw._

"_I'll betcha a nickel he turns down the Rock Bass road."_

"_Eh, you jealous?"_

"_No! I just bet!" _

"_I don't take money off a little kid," Colleen said, dusting off her knees._

"_I'm not little!" Madeleine insisted._

"_And you gots a crush on my brother," she teased._

_Madeleine blushed. Colleen grinned. "Madeleine's in love with my brother!" she yelled, jamming the soda bottle shut with her thumb and running away. Madeleine hung back in the ditch for a few moments. It's true that everyone was in love with Ricky. She watched the dust that Claire and Ricky left behind drift to the ground. They were far enough down the road that they were beginning to waver in Madeleine's vision. She watched long enough to see them turn to the willow tree, and then took off after Colleen. She didn't know for sure whether or not Ricky had turned from the dirt road to the intersection or if he followed Claire, but something in the back of her mind told her that Claire had followed someone calling her name. _

_Claire's body was found three days later. _

A/N: Nothing pertaining to the present in this chapter, but it does give you some background on Claire's last day. Hmm…who was behind the voice, I wonder? Next chapter…more revelations from Madeleine and more downright stubbornness from Marjorie…and maybe…some drama within the lives of our beloved detectives.


	4. Chapter 4

It was just after eleven when Lilly finally got home. Her cats started meowing, vying for her attention. She petted them and checked her phone messages, surprised that there _were _messages.

"Lilly, it's Christina…" Lilly stopped half-listening and turned her full attention to the answering machine. "I'm in trouble. I'm going to come and see you tomorrow…I'm scared. I don't know what to do." Lilly sighed.

"You never know what to do," she said to the empty kitchen. "And you know what? I don't either anymore." She picked Claire's picture up off the kitchen table and studied it for a long while. She had been so perfectly innocent, a sweet, pretty little girl with her whole life ahead of her. That always hit Lilly so hard: the sheer innocence of some of the kids they'd investigated. She patted her cats one more time, gave Claire one last sad glance and went to bed, toying with the possibility of a fresh start in the morning.

The next morning there was a telephone message on Lilly's desk. "Madeline McCarthy (811-9624)," Lilly read. "Call please to arrange meeting." Lilly crumpled it up and picked up the phone. She didn't hear Scotty walk in behind her.

"Hi, Madeleine. Lilly Rush calling. Yes…any time is just fine…ten thirty?" Lilly checked her watch. "Ten thirty is great. See you then."

"Got a hot date?" Scotty teased, handing her a mug of coffee. She looked startled, then smiled.

"So do you," she retorted, taking a mouthful of coffee.

"Madeleine has more 'breakthrough information'?" he asked.

"Guess so." Lilly glanced nervously out the window. "Do we have anything new?" she wondered.

"Well, do you remember the description of Claire's bike?"

"Sure."

"Two pink and white streamers?"

"Yes."

"Grace has one."

"Of Claire's streamers?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure it was Claire's?"

"She said that 'she gave it to her'."

"Who?"

"Dunno. Claire?"

"Well…do we have the streamer?"

"It was turned in this morning."

"I wonder who gave it to her…" Lilly looked out the window again.

"What're you looking at?" Scotty followed her gaze.

"Nothing." She shook her head. "Guess we'll be interrogating Grace again, won't we?"

"Guess so. Maybe we'll get something out of her this time."

Lilly nodded, finishing her coffee. "I hope so," she said.

Stillman walked into her office. "Lil, your sister's here," he said.

Scotty looked at Lilly, who shook her head and gave him a look.

"You stay here," Stillman told Scotty. "Read over Lilly's notes again."

Lilly left her office and walked into the lobby.

"Hi, Chris," she said. "What's going on?"

Christina looked nervous and tired, and said nothing.

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head no.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant," mumbled Christina, not looking up.

Lilly shook her head. No. "By who?"

Christina's voice was barely a whisper. "I don't know," she said.

"How far?"

"Um. Four months, I think. Lilly, you have to help me."

"What am I going to do to help you?" Lilly felt lost.

"I don't know. You're good at solving problems."

Lilly tried to relax. "Christina, this isn't a problem. It's…an obstacle. Have you been to see the doctor?"

Christina shook her head.

"Stopped smoking? Drinking?"

No answer. Lilly sighed. "I'm going to phone the doctor and make you an appointment, okay? Where are you staying?"

Christina bit her lip. "At the Y."

Lilly resisted the temptation to groan. "You can't stay there. You're pregnant. That's not a healthy environment. You can come stay with me." It was a hasty decision, the only one she could think of that was safe for her future niece or nephew. "And I'll help you find somewhere permanent to live, too, okay?"

Christina nodded.

"I'll take you home."

She nodded again.

"Stay right here."

Lilly walked back into her office. "Stillman, can I talk to you?"

"Go ahead."

"Without Scotty in the room?"

Scotty got up and left.

"I need to take Christina back to my apartment. I'll be back shortly."

"Is everything all right?"

"No. But it's complicated." She felt like crying all of a sudden for some reason.

"Okay…but don't forget about your meeting with Madeleine McCarthy."

"I won't."

"And Lilly, remember that I'm always here if you need to talk."

Lilly nodded. She wanted to say something more but the lump in her throat was too big to swallow.

* * *

Half an hour later, Lilly was back at the station, acting as if nothing had happened.

"What's up?" Scotty asked.

"Nothing. Is Madeleine here?"

"It's only 9:00," Scotty said. "What's going on?"

Lilly sat down and buried her hands in her hair. "Nothing. Can I see Claire's file, please?"

Scotty handed her the box and she read the familiar words over and over. "None of it makes sense," she muttered. "Underpants over face suggest that the killer was frightened of the aftereffects of the strangulation. The bulrushes formed into a cross on her chest suggest a ceremonial killing or a premeditated death…a realization that she'd been killed. It's just so strange…it stopped making sense to me a long time ago."

Scotty nodded. "At least Madeleine might have something for us."

"Yes," Lilly agreed. She flipped through the photos again, searching for something. "Scotty?"

"Mm?"

"I'm scared this'll be our first dead end."

"Lilly, have we ever had a dead end?"

Lilly shook her head no.

"Do you honestly think you're going to let yourself come to a dead end?"

"No! Of course not." She sighed. "I'm just tired. Are we going to go see Grace today?"

Scotty nodded. "I'm gonna go get more coffee. Want some?"

"Please."

"Good morning, Madeleine. Thanks for coming down."

Madeleine looked grave. "The day after Claire…was taken, we did art."

"In school?" Lilly asked.

Madeleine nodded slightly. "And we could draw whatever we wanted…as long as it was spring related. Grace drew yellow butterflies, just like on Claire's underpants."

Lilly was startled. "Do you think…?"

"I think that whoever killed her had Grace and Marjorie with him."

Lilly and Scotty exchanged looks.

"Grace and Marjorie were Mr. March's 'pets'. They probably thought it was just a game."

Lilly and Scotty exchanged another look. "Thank you, Madeleine," Lilly said.

_A/N: Brandi: Ha-ha! I'm not doing a lot of work at school anymore so I have a lot of time to write._

_So THAT'S what Marjorie and Grace thought was a game…or is it:-P I'm evil!_


	5. Chapter 5

"Grace, we know you had Claire's bicycle streamer." Lilly and Scotty had been talking to Grace for almost an hour and still had gotten nowhere.

At Lilly's mention of the streamer, Grace panicked. Her eyes veered towards the ceiling, her hands wandered to her crotch and she made a crying noise.

"She gave it to me." Her voice was a mosquito's whine, high and soft.

"Who? Who gave it to you, Grace?" Lilly asked gently, softly, in a voice Scotty had ever heard her use—a child asking another child.

"She did," groaned Grace.

"Just tell us who gave you the streamer."

"Someone." Grace's eyes snapped open. She leaned forward, toying with the hem of her shirt, staring at Lilly.

"Did you find Claire's body?" Scotty asked.

Grace's mouth opened and a string of saliva dripped down her chin. "She gave it to me," she insisted.

" Just tell us who she is." Lilly was teetering on the brink of explosion. Scotty could sense it.

Grace's story changed, not for the first time. "I found it," she decided.

"Where?" Lilly pressed her fingers to her temple.

"In…the ditch," she said finally. "I think Rex pulled it off."

"Who was Rex?" Lilly asked, glad for a straight answer.

"Ricky's dog."

"Ricky had his dog with him?" Scotty asked.

Grace nodded. "She smelled like dog," she said softly.

"When did she smell like dog?" Lilly questioned.

"When we saw her. In the field."

"When were you in the field with Claire?" Lilly prompted.

Grace groaned. Her hands flopped in all directions. Her eyes rolled back and she dissolved to tears. An orderly came up and tried to comfort her. "I'm sorry," she said warmly to Lilly and Scotty. "I'm going to ask you to leave until Miss Novotny's mental state is healthier."

"Grace was in the field when Claire was killed," Scotty said as they walked out to the parking lot. "And whoever did it gave Grace that streamer as a sort of twisted prize."

Lilly nodded. "I just wish I knew _who_ gave her the streamer. It's driving me nuts. It's like we've got the right key, but we're trying it on all the wrong doors."

Scotty unlocked the car door. "We'll find the right one," he promised. "We always do."

* * *

The drive to Marjorie's house was unusually quiet. Lilly was chewing her lips, trying not to cry. She was worried. Worried about Christina, worried about Christina's baby, worried that her math was correct and that Scotty had fathered said baby. The last thought hurt just enough to snap the tightly pulled elastic that held all of her emotions in check. She started to cry, and regretted not being able to hold it in as soon as she started.

"Hey!" Scotty pulled over. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She wiped the tears away, tried to re-bind her feelings. "I'm fine. Keep driving." He would find out from Christina soon enough. Now wasn't the time for an emotional explosion. They had work to do.

"Are you sure?" His forehead was wrinkled with worry.

"Yes. Drive." She sniffled and took a deep breath.

"Is there something wrong with Chris?"

"Look, Scotty, I don't want to talk about it. If you want to talk to Christina, phone her. She's at my house. But do it on your own time."

Scotty looked taken aback. "I thought we were okay now," he mumbled.

"Scotty, when did Christina leave?" Lilly asked suddenly.

"Five months ago," Scotty replied.

Lilly leaned back in the seat. "Oh."

"Why?"

"Just wondering." _There could have been someone else…there'd better be someone else…_

The rest of the drive was silent. Lilly could feel the tension that had just started to lift building up again. She hated herself for not being able to tell Scotty what was going on. That was always Christina's thing, blabbing to the world. Lilly could take her secrets to the grave if she really wanted to.

* * *

"Marjorie, why didn't you tell us that you saw Claire the day she was killed?"

"I told you I saw her at school," Marjorie snapped. "Why are you back here?"

"After school, Marjorie." Lilly was fed up.

"I saw her in the schoolyard," Marjorie replied snappishly.

"What about in the field?" Scotty demanded.

Marjorie grew quiet. "No," she said.

"Marjorie, who was in that field that afternoon with you, Grace, and Claire?"

"Nobody."

"Marjorie. We only want to help you. Who was in the field?"

"Nobody!" Marjorie insisted.

Lilly and Scotty exchanged looks. "So it was just you, Grace, and Claire?" Scotty asked.

"I wasn't in the field," Marjorie said quickly. "I…um. Left."

Lilly sighed. "Why do you keep lying to us, Marjorie?"

"I'm not lying to you!" Marjorie said defensively. "Why do you keep bothering me?"

"We're not trying to bother you, Marjorie, we're trying to solve a murder."

"Please don't bother me any more," Marjorie said. "The past is in the past, why do you have to drag it back up and complicate people's lives?"

"Because that's my job," Lilly replied.

_A/N: I leave you with that. Sorry there was a bit of a delay in updating (hah!), I was busy all of Saturday and the power was out til 5:00 pm today. Further drama and little tiny baby steps towards solving the case in Chapter 6!_


	6. Chapter 6

"Christina?" Lilly set her keys and the mail on the table. For once, she was home at a semi-normal time.

"Down here."

"Did Scotty phone?"

"No." Christina appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "Why?"

"I thought he would have. Did you eat?"

Christina shook her head no. "I was waiting for you."

"Oh. Okay. Fine. Um. Is pizza okay?" Lilly was trying to pretend that everything was normal.

"Sure."

"I phoned the doctor," Lilly said, picking up the phone.

"Okay."

"What do you want on your pizza?"

"I don't care." Christina retreated back to the basement. Lilly sighed and ordered the pizza.

"Listen for the door," Lilly called down. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Okay."

Once she was safely in her room, Lilly reopened Claire's box, which she had brought home with her, and pieced through the contents, trying desperately to make them make sense. She had never in all of her time working for homicide seen something quite like Claire's death. Sure, she'd seen rapes, she'd seen strangulations, and she'd seen ceremonial deaths, but she never seen one in the manner that Claire had been killed. What had really happened in that field on that idyllic May afternoon? What kind of game had those little girls been playing that could have gone so terribly wrong? Who else was there, watching, or doing?

"Hey! You're not in the shower!" Christina said, pulling open the door. "Pizza's here."

"You could have knocked," Lilly complained.

"Sorry." Christina's eyes fell on something on Lilly's bedside table. "Who's that?" she asked, picking up the framed photograph.

Lilly was trying not to let her annoyance show. "Nobody," she said shortly.

"Could you get out of here?" she asked, standing up.

Christina blinked and backed out. "Sorry," she said automatically.

Lilly said nothing, just walked out into the kitchen and started serving the pizza. They chewed in silent for a few moments until Lilly spoke.

"Are you sure you don't know who the father is?" she asked slowly.

Christina said nothing. She chewed her pizza for too long and sighed heavily. "Scotty," she answered finally, letting her voice fade off.

Lilly nodded. She bit her lip to keep from crying, stood up from the table and left the house.

* * *

She walked to Scotty's house, taking short, angry steps. He'd told her that they were being careful. He said he'd never risk that. Why did he have to live to her? Sure, it had solved the problem temporarily, but when something huge like this happened, it just hurt her. Tears pricked her eyes and threatened to spill over. What was her problem, anyway? She didn't have feelings for him, not in that way, anyway. He was—or had been—her friend, she reflected, nothing more.

"Why?" she demanded of the empty street. "What did I ever do?" She wanted to scream. She turned down Scotty's street furiously. _I hate you, Christina,_ she thought. _I love you so much, and I still hate you. _She walked up the steps of the apartment building and down the hallway to Scotty's apartment. She banged on the door and was surprised when he opened it almost instantly.

"Lil!" his eyebrows showed surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Christina's pregnant," she said, finally starting to cry. "She's pregnant and she thinks it's your baby." Her stomach clenched. She sat down.

"What do you mean? This is…that's impossible…" he was panicking. He took a deep breath, tried to relax. Once he thought about it, his eyes softened. "Oh Lil…" He sat down next to her, buried his face in his hands. "I'm so, so sorry."

"You told me you were careful," she said.

"I…forgot. Okay? Neither of us expected it."

"I'm glad to know it wasn't premeditated," Lilly snapped. She wanted to stop crying. She felt foolish.

"I'm sorry, Lilly…Please stop crying." He reached out to touch her hair and she snapped his hand away.

"Go see Christina, why don't you," she said, turning to leave.

"Wait…" he called after her, but she was already out the door.

_A/N: Not too much case stuff here…I got distracted by my own evilness. Another less-than-revealing flashback next chapter…And yes, I'm torturing myself as much as I'm torturing you… :-P_


	7. Chapter 7

_Two morning after Claire was found, her's and Ricky's pictures were printed on the front page of the newspaper. "Teenage Boy Arrested in Child Murder," Madeleine read aloud. Her father, Jack, took it away. "Don't you worry about that," he told her, mussing her hair. She scowled but said nothing._

_At breakfast, her mother poured her father's tea and switched the radio to a news station. "A youth was arrested and charged yesterday with the mur…" Jack reached over and switched it off. _

"_Daddy, Mike has his elbows on the table," Madeleine tattled, desperate for some normalcy._

"_Michel…" said Jack without looking up from the newspaper._

"_But I wasn't!"_

_Jack said nothing, just flipped a page of the paper. Madeleine stared boredly out the window. "Hey!" she said. "There's a police car at Colleen an' Ricky's house!"_

_Mimi looked out the window and pursed her lips._

"_Ricky must be home," Jack said cheerfully. _

_Mimi nodded and turned the radio to a rock-n-roll station. Martha and the Vandellas, on fire with desire. Madeleine listened in amazement. Sexy music at the breakfast table, the world had gone funny. Jack stood up, kissed Mimi, patted Madeleine and Mike on the heads and said, "See ya later, alligators."_

_Mimi stopped him. "Ricky Froelich isn't home," she said to her children. "The police think…" she trailed off and made the sign of the cross._

_Jack picked up for her. "The police think…that somehow…Ricky may somehow…Be involved…"_

"_They think he murdered her," Mike interrupted._

_Jack took a deep breath. He continued in a frighteningly calm voice. "The police are just doing their job. However, they have made a mistake. Once they realize their mistake, Ricky will be free and it will be a-okay."_

* * *

_Ten minutes later, Madeleine left for school. The police car was still parked where it had been, and Rex was still tied up with a thick rope. There was white foam forming at his mouth, and Madeleine was worried that the police would think he was rabid and shoot him. She decided to stay until they came out to tell them that Rex was perfectly fine._

"_Madeleine!" Mimi called from the doorstep. "Hurry up or you'll be late for school!"_

_Madeleine ran down the long road to the school, finally catching up with her friends Auriel and Lisa. She walked with them, listening to Lisa talk about her riding lessons, until Colleen approached them._

"_Madeleine," she said roughly. Madeleine looked back in shock. Colleen never talked to her when Auriel and Lisa were around. Auriel and Lisa stared, open-mouthed._

"_Keep walking," Colleen told them._

"_It's okay," said Madeleine._

_Colleen waited until Auriel and Lisa were gone to continue. "What are you gonna tell the police?" she asked._

"_About what?"_

"_Ricky and Claire."_

_Madeleine sighed. She was sick of talking about Claire. She started walking away, but Colleen walked backwards in front of her. _

"_Tell 'em you saw him turn left at the tree."_

"_But I didn't."_

"_But he did."_

_Madeleine squinted, imitating Humphrey Bogart. "Why should I shay I sheen what I never shaw?"_

"'_Cause they thinks he raped and murdered her."_

"_What's rape?" the words slipped out before Madeleine had a chance to stop them. She knew what it meant. She wished she didn't._

_Colleen lit a cigarette. Madeleine watched, shocked. Kids everywhere, mothers in every window. She blew the smoke away from her face. "You're way too innocent."_

_Madeleine flushed, knowing she wasn't. "My mom and dad say he'll be home by supper," she said confidently. _

_Colleen snorted. "Do you believe everything your mommy and daddy say?"_

_Madeleine shoved her, then waited for her to reiterate. When she didn't, Madeleine took off running._

* * *

"_We tuhn eff! On ah ighwayyyy…" Elizabeth thrashed slowly in her wheelchair. All afternoon, she'd been telling the officers the same thing: she and Ricky had turned left on the highway. The inspector, Inspector Bradley, got up slowly from the living room couch. He knew that the girl's testimony was useless. He interviewed her purely because he was pressured. The case was all over national news already, and everyone was on Froelich's side. People said it was impossible for that child to have done that to another child. That was in their perfect world. Ricky Froelich was no longer a child; he was a full-grown man with intent to kill. He picked up his hat, thanked the Froelichs for their time and left the house. He needed to speak to the child witnesses._

* * *

_In the middle of Social Studies, a police officer came into Marjorie, Madeleine and Grace's classroom. He spoke softly to Mr. March for a while, then turned to face the class._

"_Who among you were special friends with Claire?" he asked._

_Nobody raised their hand. They all had liked Claire, but none of them considered themselves her special friend. Madeleine remembered Claire's picnic that Thursday and how they had shared it, and the day in April they had swung upside down, laughing. She raised her hand. Everybody stared at her. Then Grace put up her hand. Madeleine wanted to call her a liar: the only thing she and Claire shared was their belief in Santa Clause. Marjorie raised her hand next, only because her pet did first._

_The policeman said, "Thank you, children," and left. Madeleine watched his bum wiggle out the door. _

"_All right, children, break for lunch," Mr. March said._

_Madeleine watched everybody swarm for the coat hooks. She felt like she was watching a movie. Everything was different, but nobody noticed but her._

* * *

_As she walked across the playground, Madeleine wondered what had happened to "exercises". She thought about the story of the giant who ate children for supper until he thought that it might be better to befriend them instead, and wondered if Mr. March was like that. She walked down Marjorie's street and saw Grace drawing on Marjorie's driveway with a piece of chalk. Upon closer examination, Madeleine realized that it wasn't chalk at all, but a piece of old, whitened dog poop. She sighed. Grace was pitiful. From inside the house, she heard Marjorie's voice. "Go away, Grace."_

_Lunch was Chef Boyardee. Madeleine didn't like it. She thought the canned noodles, sitting in the pantry for months, even years on end, looked like skin. Too polite to say anything, she pushed the noodles around on her plate until her mother stood up to make her tomato soup._

_Just before Madeleine was finished eating, her mother looked up from her magazine. "Where were you yesterday afternoon?" she asked. _

_Madeleine froze. "In a field," she answered slowly. _

"_For why? Where?" _

"_Answer your mother," said her father._

_Madeleine swallowed hard. "I wanted to find her other streamer."_

"_Whose?"_

"_Claire's…" the word hung in the air._

_Her mother covered her face with her hands, sobbing._

"_I'm sorry," said Madeleine. _

_Mike stopped eating and stared at the scene. "Can I be excused?" he asked. When nobody answered, he jammed his hat on his head and left._

"_Madeleine," said Jack. "You have to understand that someone was killed in that field. There is a dangerous man still out there. Your mom and I are only trying to protect you." He hugged her and Madeleine tried to worm free. _

"_I didn't go alone," she said reassuringly. "I went with Colleen."_

_Mimi slapped her once, hard. Madeleine flinched. "I'm sorry!" _

"_Finish your lunch," Jack said._

* * *

_After school, Marjorie, Grace and Madeleine were asked to stay behind. Madeleine wondered for a moment if they had been transported magically back to exercises, but no, there was a police officer standing at the door._

"_May I please speak to Marjorie Nolan?" he asked. Grace and Madeleine went out to wait in the hallway. Once they were gone, Marjorie began to talk._

"_Ricky asked me to go to Rock Bass," she bragged._

"_He did?"_

"_Yes. He said there was a nest."_

"_When?"_

"_Um. That day."_

"_What day?"_

"_The day she got lost."_

"_Claire?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Continue."_

_Marjorie smiled and smoothed her dress. "He was always asking me on picnics." The lie came so easily it sounded like the truth. "Well…maybe once or twice."_

"_What did he ask?"_

"_Just, 'Hey, Marjorie. You wanna come for a picnic? I know where there's a nest.'"_

"_What did you say?"_

"_That I was too young to date."_

"_Did he act like he was your boyfriend?"_

_Marjorie giggled. "Yes…"_

"_How?"_

_She looked back at Mr. March. _

"_Look at me, Marjorie, not at your teacher."_

_She started to cry. Mr. March handed her his hanky…the same one he put over his thing during exercises. She wiped her face with it. _

"_Did he ever touch you?"_

_Marjorie nodded._

"_Thank you."_

"_Side door…little girl. Go get Grace."_

* * *

"_Come in, Grace."_

_Grace hesitated._

"_The officers want to talk to you, Grace," Mr. March said._

"_Hello, Grace."_

_Grace groaned._

"_Grace…" said Mr. March._

"_How are you today, Grace?"_

"_Fine."_

"_You knew Claire McCarroll?"_

_Grace groaned and started to cry._

"_It's all right, Grace," said Mr. March. "Just a few more questions." _

"_Grace, did you play with Claire last Thursday?"_

_Grace moaned and toppled out of her chair. _

"_Grace," said Mr. March firmly. _

"_Did you see Claire last Thursday?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Did you play with her?"_

_Grace licked her lips and nodded._

"_When?"_

"_At the schoolyard."_

"_During school?"_

"_After. I saw her with Colleen and Madeleine. So I went to say hi."_

"_Did you see Ricky?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Where?"_

"_On my back, he was pushing me on the swings."_

"_Did he ever touch you as if he were your boyfriend?"_

"_Yes. Sometimes we do exercises and back bends. And squeezing."_

"_Squeezing?"_

"_His thing."_

_Mr. March glanced nervously at the clock. "You may go, Grace," he said._

* * *

"_Come here, Madeleine."_

"_Okay." Madeleine stepped into the classroom._

"_Did you see Ricky on Thursday?"_

"_Yes."_

"_With Claire?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Did Ricky ever touch you as if he were your boyfriend?"_

"_No!" _

"_Did he offer you rides on his bike?"_

"_No."_

"_Has he ever touched you at all?"_

"_Once. He put his hand on my head and told me to try and punch his arm."_

"_Has he ever touched you inappropriately?"_

No, but Mr. March has,_ she thought. She shook her head no._

"_Did you see Ricky with Claire on Thursday?"_

"_I told you I did."_

"_Did he go to Rock Bass with her?"_

"_No. He turned left at the willow tree." There. She'd said it._

"_Thank you, Madeleine." Inspector Bradley stood up. He didn't believe Madeleine's story. Two children against one made the odds pretty low. But a jury might believe her._

A/N: The longest chapter I've ever written. Holy long, Batman! I'm trying to drag this out as long as humanly possible...I love writing this...lol._  
_


	8. Chapter 8

Lilly didn't know where she planned to go. Christina had invaded her safe spots: home, Scotty's apartment, and she couldn't very well go to work. She was tired and frustrated. She wanted her life to be a video tape so she could rewind, edit Christina out, then fast forward to the end of Claire's case. She sighed. Dusk was falling and with it a feeling of discomfort. As many years as it had been, Lilly was afraid of the dark of night and the horrors that dusk brought. She wished she'd driven instead of walked. She still had nowhere to go. She started to cry again. After years of holding it in, the dam inside of her had finally burst. She saw the flash of headlights and heard the car come to a stop. She saw the driver get out. _I'm not going to fight back this time, _she thought resignedly. The person spoke, shocking her.

"Lilly, get in the car. Please. I'm going to take you home."

"No! Why should I? You've lied to me. You betrayed me. You didn't listen to me and look what happened." She started walking quickly away, but he grabbed her sleeve.

"I'm not letting you walk. It's dark. You don't know who's out there. I'm on my way there anyway. Now get in before I have to use force," he said. His tone was light, but Lilly still eyed him warily.

"No."

His grip on her wrist tightened. "I care about you, Lilly. I don't want you to get hurt."

"If you care so much, then why didn't you listen to me?"

"Lil…" his eyes were pleading. "I don't know. Because I'm an idiot. Just get in the car. I can't fix this, but I wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry. Now, would you please get into the car?"

She sighed. "Will you let go if I do?"

He let go of her wrist. She got into the car.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "This is the _last_ thing I need right now. For now, I'll go and talk to her. But for the long term…"

"I know. Scotty?"

"What?"

"Promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Promise me you won't let her talk you into anything stupid?"

"Promise."

Lilly closed her eyes. She didn't feel angry anymore. There was something else, though. Sadness, maybe. She sighed again and felt the car come to a stop. She opened her eyes.

"We're here," Scotty said.

* * *

She got out of the car and walked into the house without saying a word. She listened to Christina greet Scotty excitedly and heard him say, "We need to talk." She curled up on her bed. Jealousy, that's what it was. Christina didn't deserve that man or that baby. Lilly let her mind wander to the long-ago days when she could say she was truly happy. She wondered where he was, if he had that farmhouse and wife and daughter, if he'd forgotten all about the woman who still thought she might love him, or if he was alone too. She got up from the bed and went into the kitchen to get the phone book. Scotty was talking in a low, calm voice to Christina, and neither of them acknowledged Lilly. She tried not to think about what might have been in Christina's glass as she took the phone book back to her room and flipped through it until she found the number. Hands shaking, she dialed.

"Hello?" in ten years, his voice had not changed, a fact that was somehow immensely comforting to Lilly.

"Hi."

"Uh…who is this?"

"It's Lilly," she said.

"Lilly who?"

She felt a lump forming in her throat. "Lilly Rush."

"Oh…Hi."

"…I miss you." Softly, tentatively. A test.

"God, it's been so long. How've you been?"

"Alive. Are you…?" the word hung suspended between them. Married.

"Oh, I'm married. Been for seven years. We've got a little girl, she's four, Harley. And a kid on the way."

"Oh."

"How's Christina?"

Lilly put down the phone and sat down on her bed. Clutching the phone book to her chest, she cried until she was exhausted.

* * *

Scotty's car was still parked on the curb when Lilly woke up. Irritably, she made coffee and left a note on the kitchen table: "_Gone in to work. Be back in time to take Chris to 2:00 doctor appt. --L"_. Then she fed the cats and left the house.

* * *

"Lilly! What are you doing here? It's your day off!"

"I doubt you want to hear about it," she muttered.

"Is Scotty coming in?"

"Doubt it."

"What's going on, Lilly?" Stillman hated playing Lilly's guessing games. She worried him.

"Oh, nothing. My sister's pregnant, Scotty's the father. I phoned my ex and he's married. I have no place to go seeing as both Christina and Scotty invaded my house, I've gotten nowhere in this case and my life has gotten so pathetic that I come willingly to work on my days off, that's all."

Stillman studied her face, trying to see if she was kidding.

"I'm going to see Madeleine McCarthy."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"If you want to."

"Did Marjorie and Grace testify at Ricky's trial?"

Madeleine nodded. "They told ridiculous lies."

"Oh?" this came as no surprise to Lilly.

"Well, stories. All the stuff that Mr. March did, they said Ricky did."

"Why?" Stillman asked.

"I don't think they knew what they were doing. Marjorie was full of shit anyway and Grace was trying to tell on Mr. March and Ricky was already in trouble, thus making him an easy target."

"But you told the truth."

Madeleine took a breath. "Not at the trial."

"Why not?"

"Because I never saw him turn left. He did, I know he did, but I never saw him do it."

"So you said you didn't see him turn left."

Madeleine nodded. Lilly patted her hand. "You did tell the truth."

"I think I incriminated him."

"If Grace and Marjorie's stories were worse, I doubt it was you," Stillman said reassuringly.

"I still wish I'd said he turned left."

"We know. You told the truth, and we're proud of you for that."

"Ha."

"It means we can trust you to tell us what you know."

"I suppose."

"We're going to go now but I trust you'll phone with any new information."

"I will."

"She's so helpful," Lilly said as they walked back to the car. "She really wants to help Claire."

"Mmm-hmm."

Lilly checked her watch. "I want to go talk to Marjorie Nolan," she said. "If Grace has one streamer she just might have the other."

"Just remember what Madeleine told you," Stillman reminded her.

"I think forty years changes people," Lilly replied.

Stillman shook his head. "I'm coming with you."

"Okay."

"Good afternoon, Marjorie."

Marjorie stood, hands planted on hips. "I thought I told you…"

"Why did you lie at Ricky Froelich's trial?"

"I didn't!"

"Why are you lying to us now?"

"I'm not!"

"Ricky Froelich never sexually abused you."

Marjorie fell silent. "No, he didn't."

"But you said he did."

"No, I didn't!"

Lilly held up the court transcript. "We've got it right here."

"I was just a little kid!"

"Madeleine McCarthy was a little kid, too," Lilly pointed out.

"So?"

"She told the truth."

"There was no one else in the field when I was there. Maybe the…man…who killed her came after I left."

"Stop lying to me!" Lilly shouted. "I want you to tell me the truth!"

Marjorie shrugged. "There's nothing to tell," she said.

"Okay, you know what? I can't force it out of you. But you know what else? Someone hurt Claire and we want to find out who it was. You know who did it, and we want you to tell us."

Marjorie folded her arms across her chest. "No," she said calmly.

"There's nothing to lose here," Stillman said.

Marjorie stiffened further. "I don't have to tell you anything," she said childishly.

"You're right," Lilly said. "But it would make you a better person if you did."

Marjorie snorted. "What do you know about being a good person? You muck around in other people's lives, digging up what they've tried to forget. You must be a very lonely person, if you want my opinion."

"I'm not lonely," Lilly whispered. "You know nothing about me."

"And you know nothing about me."

"You're right. I don't."

"So why do you pretend to?"

"I don't. I do my job."

"Something tells me you're a little to attached to your job. It's the only thing you have left."

Lilly threw her hands up in frustration and left the house. Stillman gave Marjorie one of his infamous looks and followed her.

"I'm going to take Christina to her doctor's appointment," she said.

"Tell Scotty to phone me."

"I will. Lilly's hands were tense. "I think it was an accident," she said.

Stillman looked at her. "Lil, she was raped," he said.

Lilly flinched. "…You have to think broad," she whispered. "Children play what they know."

Stillman raised his eyebrows. "Whatever you say. It's your case."

* * *

Scotty was sitting at Lilly's kitchen table when she got home.

"I didn't sleep with Christina last night," he said.

Lilly looked at him, disbelieving. "You didn't?"

"I'm more mature than that. I keep promises."

"Where is she?"

"Downstairs. Why did you go into work?"

"Nowhere else to go. I was angry."

"…Who'd you call last night."

"Patrick McCollum."

"Who?"

"My ex. Christina's first victim."

Scotty laughed. "Why?"

"I was lonely."

"I…uh…put the phone book back."

"You were in my room?"

"I came in to check on you. I worry. Ever since…well…I worry."

Lilly smiled. "You're a nice guy when you want to be." She went downstairs to get Christina, feeling almost happy. "Come on, Chris."

Christina stuck her head out the door. "Where are we going?"

"To the doctor."

Christina groaned. "Do I have to?"

"Do you want to give birth to a healthy baby?"

"I guess."

"Then I guess you'll have to come."

Christina grumbled. "Hold on."

"Hurry. I don't want you to be late."

* * *

Half an hour later, Lilly and Scotty were sitting in the waiting room. Lilly wasn't angry anymore, though she still struggled with the idea of forgiveness. She flipped absently through a Parent's magazine and wondered if she would wind up with Christina's responsibility yet again.

"Scotty, did you and Christina talk last night?"

"Of course."

"What about?"

"Well, we're not "together", and I told her that she couldn't dump the baby on you."

"Are you going to be part of the baby's life?"

"She said she was gonna take it to New York."

"Oh." Lilly set the magazine down. "Let's see how long that lasts."

"Hey, did you get anywhere at work?"

"Marjorie and Grace lied at Ricky's trial. Then we went to talk to Marjorie, she lied some more."

"Who's 'we'?"

"Stillman and I."

"Stillman was with you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He wanted to. He said for you to phone him."

"Okay." The doctor finally came out of her office.

"Lilly Rush? May I talk to you?"

"Sure." Lilly stood up.

"Your sister is extremely stubborn. She hasn't stopped smoking or consuming alcohol and she was fairly adamant that she wasn't planning on it. I gave her some information on smoking and drinking during pregnancy and a prescription for vitamins. She's about five months along, due October 19, though if she doesn't improve her lifestyle, I'd expect the baby as early as the end of August."

Lilly nodded, trying to absorb all of the information. She would talk to Christina while they were going to the pharmacy. Leave it to Christina to refuse to help herself. That would require effort.

"I'm going to tell her to come on out." The doctor disappeared back into her office. Christina came out into the hallway. Lilly opened her mouth to start talking, but Christina interrupted her. "Don't lecture me," she said. "The doctor already did."

"Don't be stupid," Lilly replied, "and I wouldn't have to."

"Mom did it," Christina argued.

"You don't want to be like Mom."

"We turned out okay."

"That's debatable," Lilly muttered.

"What's that?"

"Nothing. Have you eaten?"

"Yes."

"Let's go get something anyway."

* * *

Later that evening, Lilly reflected back to the events of the past few days, trying to come up with something semi-normal. Scotty Valens was asleep on her couch, her sister was pregnant, she'd cried a lot, she'd been angry with Scotty and she'd been so frustrated that she'd yelled at a witness. She rolled over, flicked off the light, and fell asleep.

* * *

"Lil! Are you okay?"

Lilly buried her head in the pillow. "Turn off lights," she mumbled.

"You had a bad dream. You were screaming."

"Okay now. Turn off light."

"Are you sure?"

"Mmm-hmm…Go 'way." She was already half asleep again. The dream had been scary, but it was just a dream. Once she'd gotten a grip on reality, she'd relaxed. She was tired. Scotty patted her on the head awkwardly and left. She head him pad down the hallway and back to the living room.

_Why is Scotty here?_ She wondered sleepily. Suddenly the room seemed very quiet. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to combat it. It was an old trick she'd adopted in childhood. She was tempted to suck on her fingers, too, but decided that was far too childish. Instead, she let herself relax and went back to sleep.

* * *

When she woke up much later, the sky was heavy with clouds and the house was eerily silent. She padded out into the living room. The couch was neatly made up and Scotty's car was gone. Her cats had been fed and everything was surreally neat. She checked the clock (11:30) and padded silently into the basement. Christina was still there, asleep. Lilly sighed in relief. At least the past few days hadn't been a tripped-out dream. She went upstairs to phone Scotty.

On her way upstairs, she spotted something on the steps. She bent down to pick it up and almost laughed aloud when she realized what it was: an extremely worn-out copy of the Beatles' Let It Be, which had disappeared years ago and which she'd given up trying to find.

"Let's see if this still plays," she murmured.

"Hey."

"You're finally up. I was worried I'd have to track down a prince."

"Ha-ha." Christina sat down at the table. "You found your tape."

"Yes. Why did you have it?"

"I was too scared to give it back when I took it…actually, I didn't take it, Pat gave it to me to give to you."

"And ten years later, you've finally given it back. That was nice. A little messed up, but I don't have a lot of things in my life that aren't."

"I thought you might need it."

"Need it?"

Christina shrugged. "You never know."

Lilly half-smiled. "Dad used to play them for me."

"The Beatles?"

"And Bob Dylan." She pressed her fingers together."

"Oh." Christina was starting to wonder if giving her the tape had been a bad idea.

"He and mom fought all the time and he'd put this on the record player so I wouldn't have to hear."

"Oh." Christina took a deep breath. "Who are the people in the pictures in your room?"

Lilly didn't answer right away. She seemed to be considering how to answer. "People I've helped."

"Dead people?" Christina considered this. "Why?"

"To remind me why I need to get out of bed in the morning," Lilly said simply. She clearly didn't want to talk about it. "Hey, do you want to go baby shopping?"

* * *

Baby shopping proved to be just what Lilly needed. Not even she could resist the tiny clothes, shoes and hats.

"Boy or girl?" she asked Christina.

"Well, the ultrasound lady said a girl, and that she was almost 100 percent sure. So pink stuff it is."

"What if she doesn't like pink?" Lilly was considering a red-and-white striped sleeper.

"Babies don't care. Oh, look!" Christina pointed at something on the back wall. Lilly looked. "It's pretty." She walked to the back and picked up the price tag. "It costs 90 dollars, Christina. She'd wear it maybe twice. Maybe. Babies are functional creatures. They'd rather be dressed in Onesies and sleepers."

"But it's so pretty!" and it was pretty, a fancy party dress for a 6-month-old, made from at least a hundred layers of taffeta and silk with ribbons and flowers and tiny glittering beads.

"She'd pull those beads off and eat them," Lilly said practically.

"But it's pretty," insisted Christina.

"What about this?" Lilly held up a pair of toddler-sized overalls with pink trim.

"Maybe."

"Hey, Chris, can you go back to Baby Gap and get those blankets we were looking at? And maybe some sleepers, too?"

"Okay."

Once Christina was out of the store and out of earshot, Lilly went up to the saleslady.

"What's the biggest size you have that little dress in?" she asked.

The saleslady smiled. "You caved, huh?"

"Guess so."

"It comes in 24 months and I think we have one in the back. Hold tight and I'll go check." She disappeared into the back and re-emerged with two of the dresses. "Pink or blue?" she asked.

"Pink."

"You're her sister?" the saleslady asked, wrapping the dress in tissue paper.

Lilly nodded.

"You're a good sister."

_AN: Yay I can finally upload! Goodie! On an unrelated note, I got a new Indigo Girls CD. Never Stop is a sort of Lilly/Christina/Scotty song. You should all track down a copy and listen. _


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Lilly got to work even earlier than usual. She read over Claire's autopsy report for the thousandth time, this time underlining any little details she'd missed. She was so absorbed in it that she didn't even notice when Scotty walked in.

"I brought coffee," he said cheerfully. Lilly jumped.

"Oh! Good morning. Thanks." She took the coffee from him and smiled. "Just getting nowhere again."

"What are we gonna do today?" he asked.

"Um. I was going to go talk to Colleen Froelich."

Scotty's expression changed and he looked to Lilly a bit like an over-excited four-year-old. "You found Colleen!"

"I think so. I did a bit of poking around this morning." She finished the coffee and set the cup down. "Let's get going."

Colleen lived in a small, neat house just outside of town. Lilly didn't relate the house to the person living in it, and she couldn't help being amused by it. She rang the doorbell and Colleen answered it. She looked totally different from how Lilly remembered her—she was clean and polished and smiling. The only thing that remained of that dangerous teenage girl were her eyes.

"Detectives Rush and Valens, homicide," Lilly said. "Can we come in?"

Colleen looked dubiously at her. "Who died?"

Lilly smiled. "This is about the Claire McCarroll case," she said gently.

Colleen let them in. "Do you want something to drink? Or eat? I made cookies."

"No. We're fine. Colleen, do you remember what happened that Thursday after Ricky came home?"

"Nothing special. We ate supper and I helped give Elizabeth a bath…he probably played his guitar a little."

"Did you see anything unusual that day?"

"Well, I was in the field with Madeleine…and…there were those two little girls on the road."

"Which two?"

"I can't remember their names. Bossy and Dopey."

Scotty snorted. "Grace and Marjorie?"

"Sure."

"And?"

"I think they followed Claire."

Lilly and Scotty exchanged looks. "Anything else?" Lilly asked.

"He found her body."

"I'm sorry. Colleen?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what Ricky's new name is?"

Colleen grew quiet. "No," she replied.

"Okay. Thank you very much for your time."

* * *

"Lil, there's a message for you," Stillman said when they got back.

"Oh?"

"Your sister."

Scotty looked up with mild interest.

"Okay. Did she say it was important?"

"No."

"Okay, it can wait." Lilly was writing intently in her notebook.

"What are you working on?"

Lilly was quiet for several minutes. Stillman had nearly walked away when she spoke. "If Mr. March didn't kill her, then Grace did. I don't know how, but that's what happened."

Stillman watched her and shook his head. He never could understand what went on in Lilly's head.

* * *

It was quiet in Lilly's house when she got home. "Christina?" she called, bending down to pet her cats. They meowed and jumped out of her arms. She headed into the kitchen and noticed a note on the table. "_I went out. 1:30 pm. Chris_." Lilly rolled her eyes and considered her options. She could search the entire city for her, or she could wait until she got home. She hoped that Christina wasn't out where she thought she was. She sighed, pulled her hair down, and started to fix something to eat.

* * *

Christina crashed through the door sometime after midnight. Lilly got out of bed to greet her at the door.

"Hiii, Lil," she slurred.

"You were drinking."

"Only…a lil bit…One!" she held up one finger.

"What did the doctor tell you? You're going to have a baby."

"I not having any shtupid baby…"

"Go to bed," Lilly told her.

"You're shtupid, Lilly…Not having a baby…" Christina giggled.

Lilly made sure that Christina was safely downstairs in bed before returning to her own bed. Once she was up there, she lay on her back, chewed her lips, and tried hard not to cry.

* * *

Lilly was still angry when she woke up the next morning. She stormed around work until Scotty finally asked her what was wrong.

"Christina came home drunk last night."

Scotty didn't say anything.

"She's going to hurt the baby."

He nodded. "Sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I got her pregnant."

"You didn't tell her to go out and get drunk and possibly permanently damage her future daughter."

"I just want to make it okay again," he murmured, too quiet for Lilly to hear.

* * *

Lilly and Scotty were reading over Lilly's notes again when Stillman stuck his head into the office. "Lil, there's a Sharon McCarroll here to see you."

Lilly looked up, mildly interested. "Okay, I'll be right out."

Sharon McCarroll was a small, delicate woman who spoke in a small, sweet, vaguely Southern accent. "Ah you the nice lady who's tryin' to find ou' what really happened to ah Claire?"

Lilly smiled. "That's right."

"Ah figured I should give this to y'all. Ah never did give it to the police when…it happened." She handed Lilly a piece of paper. "If y'all need anything…anything at ahll, don' hesitate to call…Ah gave mah contact information to the nahce lady at the desk."

Lilly fingered the piece of paper gently. "Will do, Mrs. McCarroll. Thank you so much for giving this to us."

* * *

"_Dear Mrs and Mr Mikarl,_

_Mr March makes Claire stay after scool with the bad kids to do exsersizes. Do not atempt to find me. I am not your enmy. I am your freind. I only want to help Claire. _

_Yours Truely,_

_The Humen Sowrd."_

_A/N: Sorry for the delay in chapter uploading. I really don't like exams. Expect another chapter if not tonight then tomorrow sometime. Also, the spelling mistakes in the note were obviously intentional._

_---The Humen Sowrd ;-)_


	10. Chapter 10

_A few weeks into the trial, Madeleine's mother told her that she wasn't to play with Colleen 'for the time being'. Madeleine was secretly relieved—the Froelich's house felt dark and gave her that after-three feeling. _

_She instead spent the glorious days of June at the pool with Auriel and Lisa and later in Auriel's pup tent, mourning. Lisa was moving to New York. The three exchanged comic books and pledged undying friendship. They promised not to shave or get boyfriends without first writing to each other. Madeleine said, "Let's meet in the schoolyard in the year 2000," then the three girls put their hands together in a sort of pledge. It was on the tip of Madeleine's tongue to suggest they become blood sisters, but the idea left as fleetingly as it had come. She could only be a blood sister with Colleen. The girls exchanged autographs and hugged. Madeleine turned down the hug—the idea gave her that dark after-three feeling. Auriel was moving away, too—to Colorado. "Listen," Lisa said dramatically. "I'm in love!"_

"_With who? With who?"_

_Lisa giggled. "Mike McCarthy!"_

_Madeleine nearly fell over. "You're in love with my brother?"_

_Lisa buried her face in her knees and nodded. Auriel then pronounced her love for Roy Noonan, even though, "He's a total square." Madeleine, who was still in shock, reached over and flipped on the transistor radio. All three girls squealed in disbelieving delight when their theme song, "It's My Party" came on. All three sang along at the top of their lungs, crying if they wanted to. _

* * *

_The next morning, Madeleine testified at Ricky's trial._

"_What is your name, little girl?"_

_Madeleine looked seriously at the judge. He had a face like a frog. Madeleine bit her lip so she wouldn't laugh._

"_Madeleine McCarthy."_

_The judge gestured to the jury. "Speak louder so that these nice men can hear you."_

"_MADELEINE MCCARTHY!" she yelled._

_The judge looked startled. The audience giggled. Madeleine looked helplessly out into the sea of grown-ups, searching for her dad. _

"_Well, Madeleine. How old are you?"_

"_NINE!" _

"_You don't need to shout, Madeleine. Order, please."_

_Madeleine wrinkled her forehead. She wasn't trying to be funny. The judge noticed her worry and said, "You don't need to speak quite so loudly, Madeleine."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_That's quite fine, Madeleine. Do you know what it means to take an oath?"_

"_Yes."_

"_What does it mean?"_

_Madeleine looked over to the right and saw Ricky Froelich. She smiled at him._

"_I don't think we should swear this child." _

_Madeleine glanced up again, knowing she was in trouble._

"_M y lord, that is entirely up to you," said Mr. Waller—Ricky's lawyer. He had bags under his eyes but his gown was very shiny. "Though, I'd like to swear her if at all possible."_

"_I know you would like it, Mr. Waller, but that is not why we're here. What grade are you in, Madeleine?"_

"_I'm going into the fifth grade, your honor," Madeleine said. Not too loud or too soft. Just right. She had found her dad, sitting next to her mom, a few rows behind Mr. Froelich and Colleen. He winked at her and she smiled back as discreetly as she could, feeling decidedly like a puppet. _

"_Madeleine, what does it mean to take an oath?"_

"_Um. It means…it means you swear to tell the truth."_

"_And what does that mean? To tell the truth?"_

"_What is "to tell the truth"?" she repeats._

"_Do you know the difference between a lie and the truth?"_

"_Yes your ma—your honor." _Your majesty?_ Madeleine wondered._

"_What is the difference?"_

"_The truth is when…you tell someone what happened and you don't leave anything out just to try to make them believe something else. And you don't act like they're only asking you one thing, and you have to tell everything and that's what 'the whole truth' means." She breathed out, felt clearer._

_The judge nodded wisely. "I wish more adults had a similar grasp. What grade are you in? Or, rather, who is your teacher?"_

"_My teacher last year was Mr. March, sir."_

"_Did you like him?"_

"_No. He was gross."_

_Everyone laughed. _

"_Order!" said the judge angrily. "You're being truthful, Madeleine. That's good." _

"_You live with your family?" the judge asked._

"_Yes, sir."_

"_Do you go to Sunday School?"_

"_We call it catechism."_

"_What church do you go to?"_

"_We're Catholic."_

"_Roman Catholic. I think this girl might understand." _

_Madeleine wondered who he was talking to. _

"_You understand that you are obligated to tell the truth, is that correct, Madeleine?"_

"_Yes, your honor."_

"_What is that brooch you are wearing?"_

"_It's an Acadian flag."_

"_I think we should swear this little girl."_

_A big fat man who looked like Mr. Plodd, the policeman from Noddy, walked up carrying a fat book._

"_Put your right hand on the bible," he said stuffily. Madeleine put her hand on the bible and went through the motions, just like on TV._

_When it was all done, the Judge asked, "Did you know Claire McCarroll?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Were you a friend of Claire's, Madeleine?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Do you know Richard Froelich?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Were you on the playground with Claire and other children on the afternoon of April tenth, 1963?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Did Claire tell you…"_

"_None of that, Mr. Waller," the judge said._

"_What did Claire tell you?"_

"_She told me that she was going on a picnic with Ricky," Madeleine answered truthfully._

"_And what did you do?"_

"_I hummed…a song."_

"_Which song?"_

" '_Beautiful Dreamer'." Madeleine blushed._

"_Why did you do that?"_

"_Cause she was telling stories."_

"_Why do you think that?"_

"_Because she wanted to go on a picnic with him."_

"_No…what I mean is, Madeleine, what made you think that it might just be Claire's imagination?"_

"_Once she said he took her to a dance at Teen Town."_

"_And had he?"_

"_No, it's only for teenagers." Madeleine glanced over to the table. There was a jar on it with something brown and yellowy. "What's in that jar?" she asked._

"_Cover that table up," requested Mr. Waller. "Tell me, Madeleine. When you were humming, who else was with you?"_

"_Colleen."_

"_Colleen Froelich?"_

_Madeleine nodded. "And Grace and Marjorie."_

"_So they overheard that…"_

"_Mr. Waller."_

_Mr. Waller cleared his throat. "Madeleine, did you see Ricky and Claire on the road?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Did you see Ricky turn left onto the dirt road?"_

"_No."_

_Mimi suddenly sprang up from her spot and dragged Madeleine away. _

"_But I told the truth…" she whispered._


	11. Chapter 11

"Let me get this straight. You were at Ricky's trial, you told the truth, and your mother got so mad that you were forcibly removed from the courtroom?"

"Pretty much."

"Because…?"

"I said that he didn't turn, but he did."

"So you lied." Lilly was rapidly losing patience with the tangled web of lies, half-truths, dead leads and redundancies that made up the case. Not to mention the baffling lack of evidence.

"No."

"Well then what—?"

"I didn't SEE him turn."

"And?"

"They asked if you saw him."

"And you didn't."

"Right."

"That's different from saying he didn't turn," Lilly snapped.

Scotty looked at her from his silent post on the couch. "Madeleine," he said.

"What?"

"You don't know anything more about this case, do you?"

Madeleine took a breath. "No, I don't," she admitted. "But keep me posted."

"We will."

Outside, Lilly's cell phone rang. "Rush." She listened for a minute. "Really? Okay. We'll be right there." She flipped it shut and turned to Scotty. "C'mon. Looks like Marjorie Nolan wants to talk."

* * *

"Good morning, Marjorie," Lilly said brightly, trying to keep all the resentment out of her voice. "Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"I hope you realize that I had to find a substitute at the last minute to come down here," Marjorie replied in that "you are no more intelligent than my kindergarteners" voice she was fond of using with Lilly.

"Were you arrested?"

"No."

"Then you should have had plenty of time to find a substitute."

Marjorie blinked, then continued in a voice lower than Lilly thought possible from her. "I was married for ten years. I have four children and nine grandchildren. I have never told a soul what I am about to tell you people."

"Okay."

"Grace and I were the only people in the woods with Claire that night."

Lilly looked at Marjorie, speechless and unable to form the words she wanted so desperately to.

Scotty picked up for her. "You killed her."

Marjorie shot Scotty and indignant glare. "I did not!"

Lilly raised her eyebrows. "I supposed you're going to tell us that it was an accident."

"Grace killed her."

"All by herself?" Scotty snorted. "Could she even tie her shoes by herself?"

"I told her what to do."

"So Grace killed her, but you were the one who mediated it?"

"We were playing school."  
Lilly, who had played school with Chris once upon a time, raised her eyebrows. "And somehow, Claire wound up raped and strangled while you were playing school?"

"You make it sound so horrible," Marjorie said, sighing.

Lilly's eyes flashed, but she said nothing.

"I was being Mr. March and Grace was being me. We were doing exercises. I had this corncob…I told Claire to take off her panties and she did. They were so pretty, with yellow butterflies. Then…I put the corncob up her dress and told her to pee. She started to cry and said she had to go home. I told her we were just playing. Then, I told Grace to put her hands around Claire's neck and squeeze. Harder and harder. Then Claire finally peed and her tongue was out. Grace tried to wake her up. She said…that Claire was sleeping. But she was scary-looking, so Grace closed her eyes, closed Claire's eyes, and put her panties over her face. And then we went home and went to Brownies."

"Did you know she was dead?"

"Grace didn't."

"Did you?"

"Yes."

"Did you want to kill her?"

"…No."

"Did you know she would die if Grace squeezed tighter?"

"Ye…No."

"Did you know what you were doing when you sexually violated Claire with the cob of corn?"

Marjorie's voice wavered. "Yes."

"Don't move a muscle," Scotty said warningly as he and Lilly stood up. "I mean it."

* * *

Outside, Scotty sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "What are we gonna do?"

"Two little nine-year-old girls raped and murdered another nine-year-old girl, blamed it on a 13-year-old boy, and kept it a secret for 42 years. That's a really good question, Scotty. What _are _we going to do?"

"Marjorie knows what she did."

"But does Grace?"

"It's hard to know." He sighed.

Lilly's cell phone rang again. "Rush."

Scotty could hear the panicked voice on the other end. "Lil, I think the baby's in trouble."

"What do you mean, 'in trouble'?"

"I think I'm having…I think the baby is coming. You have to come home, Lil, I'm scared."

"Chris, I'm…" She sighed. "You're coming with me," she told Scotty as she hung up the phone. "It's your baby."

He couldn't help but notice the tinges of jealousy working their way into her voice.

A/N: I'm back! After a long absence due to holidays, broken computer, writer's block, too much CSI, writer's block, experimental CSI fanfiction, a summer babysitting job that turned me into a zombie, the loss of my Cold Case (and Kite and Christina bashing!) buddy, I'm picking this story up again. Three more chapters: flashback, personal stuff (baby and Elisa, oh my!), conclusion. I have been quite taken by the character of Elisa, so my next story (save the CSI one I've been working on simultaneously to this one) shall be about her. Very well.


	12. Chapter 12

"_Hi Marjorie. Hi Grace."_

_"Oh, hi Claire. Grace and I were just going for a walk in the woods. We want you to come."_

"_Oh, no, I can't, thanks for offering. I'm not allowed into the woods."_

"_We're not going to hurt you."_

"_Yeah, Claiwe."_

"_We just want to see something." Marjorie held out an egg, a delicate blue robin's egg. Claire dismounted her pretty pink bike and walked over to the other girls to accept the peace offering. "We know where there's more," Marjorie said inticingly._

"_Alive ones," Grace added earnestly._

_Claire took the egg delicately from Marjorie's hand, cupped it like something precious. Hollow, weightless, and followed Marjorie and Grace into the woods._

_The cornfieldwas on the other side of the ravine they were standing by, and beyond that is a clear, bright meadow where, if you are quiet, you might see a deer. And then the woods._

"_The nest is in the woods," Marjorie explained, climbing over the embankment, beckoning Grace and Claire to follow her. _

_It was unseasonably warm for April. The grass was clicking with insects and the sun was shining. Perfect. _

_The three girls entered the cornfield and walked single file, careful of last year's corn stalks poking up from the ground like bones of soldiers. Behind Claire, Grace is turning round and round as she walks, staring at the sky. _

"_Get dizzy, then look at the sky." _

_Claire tried it and she and Grace laughed with their heads thrown back, childish innocence._

_From ahead, Marjorie turned. "Come on, you two. I'm not partial to dilly-dallying, you know." She spotted the corncob then, light and lean from age. She picked it up, peeled back the papery husk. She was about to toss it away, disinterested, when Grace grabbed it and shoved it between her legs._

"_Guess who I am?" she giggled._

_Claire smiled, polite, then turned away, embarrassed. Marjorie rolled her eyes and kept walking. Claire followed._

_Grace swaggered behind Claire, still pretending. "Squeeze my muscle, little girl." She laughed, pretended to pee out of it. _

"_Don't be rude, Grace," said Marjorie, already hatching a game in her mind. Grace just laughed and ran ahead of Marjorie, then spun around and sprayed her with imaginary pee. "Grace," Marjorie says warningly. _

_Grace turned forward again, interest in the ear of corn lost. Marjorie picked it up as the cornfield gave way to the meadow._

_The meadow was empty except for last year's long grass collapsed over the new growth, and a few cattails left standing. _

"_Are we there yet?" Claire asked, growing impatient of the walk._

_Grace glanced at Marjorie, but Marjorie, unconcerned, simply twirled the ear of corn like a baton. "Not too much farther," Grace assured her._

* * *

_As they approached the woods, Claire hesitated. "I told you, I'm not allowed into the woods."_

"_Well, I'm afraid you have no choice. That's where the next is."_

"_No," Claire said firmly._

"_How come?" Grace asked innocently._

"_My mommy told me it's too dangerous, little girls get lost and never come back out."_

"_The cornfield is more dangerous than the woods, Claire."_

"_Yeah." _

_But Claire shook her head no, refusing. _

"_It's your loss, little girl," Marjorie said, shrugging. "Oh well. Show us your underpants."_

_Claire looked at Grace for help, but Grace was looking at Marjorie. Claire simply smiled and lifted up her dress, obliging._

"_Oh, they're pretty."_

"_Yeah, really pretty."_

"_Thank you." Claire dropped her dress, tried to walk away._

"_I'm not finished. Take them off." _

_Claire, unsure of what to do, slid the underpants down her legs and kicked them off, even though something inside of her kept telling her, "don't take off your underpants when people ask, it's not good for people to ask that" but the breeze was lovely. Claire giggled and ran through the meadow with not panties on. _

"_Good. Now bend over, little girl."_

_Grace giggled, Claire laughed, because what were they playing now. Claire took off across the meadow._

"_Get her," Marjorie instructed Grace, who then followed Claire across the meadow. They were about fifteen feet from the elm tree when they stopped. Marjorie followed, unhurried, still holding the corncob. Grace grabbed Claire's arm, tightly._

"_Ow."_

_Grace looked at Marjorie, unsure of what to do next. She was just a pawn. This was Marjorie's game. Claire glanced down, looking for her blue egg. She dropped it. "Excuse me, Grace, but could you please let go?"_

_Grace glanced back at Marjorie again, who shook her head no. _

"_Huwwy up, Mawjowie."_

_Marjorie wasn't laughing, because she knew that while it was a game, it wasn't funny. "I'm sick to death of you, little girl," she told Claire._

_Claire laughed again, delighted by the game. _

"_Bend over and touch your toes," Marjorie demanded._

"_Um, Marjorie, I don't want to play this…Let's pretend…" Claire was beginning to panic._

"_Are you deaf, little girl?" _

_Grace gave a delighted shriek and held tighter to Claire's arm, with both hands now._

_Claire whimpered, "Can I go home now? Want to come to my house to play?" _

_Grace gave Claire a hard shove, knocking her down._

"_Don't say I didn't warn you," Marjorie said disapprovingly. She tossed Claire's underpants onto Claire's face and Grace jumped onto Claire before she could get up. She held the underpants tightly on Claire's face and shrieked "Smell your bum!"_

_Marjorie stood over them both, watching. She could see the outline of Claire's face through the fabric. It's not enough. "Get off of her," she instructs Grace. _

* * *

_Grace stood, grinning like a madwoman, her tongue licking the corners of her mouth. Claire lay on the ground, motionless. Marjorie bent down and removed the underpants with the tip of the corncob. "Get up."_

_Claire stood up. "I have to go now."_

"_It's okay, Claiwe."_

"_Put your hands around Grace's throat," Marjorie instructed._

_Claire obeyed. _

"_Squeeze. Harder now."_

"_Mar—!"_

"_Shut up, Grace."_

_Claire let go of Grace and waited for the next instruction, wishing she could run, home free, safe._

"_Pee."_

_Claire wrinkled her forehead, tried not to cry. "I can't," she sobbed._

"_Hold her still, Grace."_

_Grace took Claire's elbows and locked them together from behind while Marjorie pushed the cob of corn up Claire's dress._

"_Ow." Claire bit her lip. "Marjorie, stop that please."_

_Marjorie pressed harder and Claire squealed._

"_Owwwwww…" Claire didn't scream, just whimpered. _

"_Stop hurting her, Marjorie!" Grace yelled, still holding Claire's elbows. _

_Marjorie thrust her arm upward with a twist, just because she could. Claire screamed and jolted forward, but Grace prevented her from falling and hurting herself, though Claire's true intention was to run. Marjorie watched, thinking, '_Isn't it funny how someone right in front of you can be screaming about something you don't feel? It's like rain falling two inches in front of your face and you stay perfectly dry._' _

"_What are you screaming about, little girl?" she asked, pulling the corncob from under Claire's dress. There was blood on it, and Claire was sobbing._

_Grace let go of her. "Hey, Claiwe, it's okay, Claiwe, don't cwy, Claiwe, hey, Claiwe, can I see youw chawm bwacelet?" She asked as Marjorie tossed the corncob away, into the grass. Claire raised her wrist, hiccupping, and showed Grace the bracelet._

"_Oh, that's the pwettiest one I've evew seen," she said, fingering the charms. "Can I twy it on?"_

_Claire shook her head no and Grace said, "Okay, I won't Claiwe, it's youws," and let go of the bracelet._

_Marjorie sighed, bored, and said, "Strangle her, Marjorie."_

_Grace obeyed, and didn't laugh at Marjorie's calling her Marjorie, because she didn't actually notice. She squeezed and squeezed. _

_Sometime while Grace was squeezing, Claire's expression changed from terror to surprise. Marjorie kept watching, entertained._

_It was so quiet. Grace wasn't even grinning, just staring, the game had long since ceased being funny, ceased being anything. Just this, just the overwhelming silence, just Claire's shocked look and Grace's hands and Marjorie watching, like a movie in slow motion. It went on forever, Grace not doing anything, just not stopping, Marjorie watching, Claire looking surprised. Silent, empty, going on and on forever, doing nothing doing nothing doing nothing._

_And finally, Claire peed. Grace let go then, and Claire dropped to the ground. Suddenly, it was that sunny, beautiful day again. Grace and Marjorie were in a field and Claire McCarroll, the new, shy, beautiful girl was there. Insects were there, and there were cars on the road, and Brownies after supper. The flying up._

"_Get up, Claire."_

_Many years later, Marjorie will recall the grass being yellow, but it was actually newly green. Grace will remember that they were in a cornfield, but there was no corn. There was long, pale green, last-year-grass. There was an elm tree. There was a bright yellow sun. All around, the month of April. It's 25 minutes to five. _

"_Put your tongue back in, Claire."_

_Claire didn't obey, she didn't do anything, she just lay there._

"_Just get up, Claire."_

_But Claire flatly refused to do as she was told._

"_Mawjowie…" Grace said, her voice going wavery. "Ohhhh," she moaned. "Oh no, oh no, Mawjowie…" _

"_Shut up," Marjorie said in a fed-up voice, like a teacher marking the final failed spelling test._

"_Ohhhhhh…" Grace turned around slowly, pulling the tall grass, hugging herself, "Ohhhh, noooo…"_

_Marjorie finally relented, like Grace's long-suffering mother. "It's all right, Grace. I'll never tell. It'll be fine."_

_Grace knew she had to make things nice. She pulled Claire's dress down and folded her arms, covered her with bluebells and Queen Anne's lace. Marjorie added two long cattails for a cross over her chest, because now that all was said and done, she may as well leave Claire in peace._

"_She's asleep," Grace said, reassuring herself more than anything else. She even bent to kiss Claire goodnight, but her eyes were too scary…her face was already changing. Scared, Grace went to retrieve her underpants, tiny yellow butterflies on white cotton, and put them over her face. The game was over. It was time to go home._

_They walked with Claire's bike from Rock Bass to the dirt road and took turns riding it, but when they reached the intersection back to town, Marjorie said that they didn't want anyone to think they stole it, so they hid it under the willow tree. Grace pulled one of the pink streamers off the handlebars. "I'll give it back," she told Marjorie, but Marjorie didn't care anymore. _

* * *

_That night after Flying Up, Grace called on Marjorie, but Marjorie said that she couldn't come out, that it was too late and she had to do her homework and go to bed, just like a normal girl. It was already starting to get dark, and Grace had been out since right after Brownies, at the edge of Marjorie's driveway amongst the dented trashcans. Marjorie watched her from her bedroom window. She rapped sharply on the glass and yelled, "Go home, Grace!"_

_Grace was shivering like she was cold, which made sense—it was only April, the nights still dipped below freezing. She stood and wandered away, not in the direction of her house, not in any particular direction whatsoever. But five minutes later, she was banging on Marjorie's door again. Marjorie's mother was sick a lot and it was really a bother to have someone always banging on the door._

"_Marjorie," she called to her daughter as Grace waited on the front step. "It's that kid again."_

_Marjorie came to the door in her housecoat, kiss-curls taped to her cheeks. "What do you want?" she asked through the screen door._

"_We're best fwiends, wight?" Grace asked, her bottom lip quivering._

_Marjorie didn't invite her in, just looked at Grace's chapped lips and grubby Brownie uniform and said nothing. She'd just had a bath. She wondered for a moment why she had ever been friends with poor, grimy Grace Novotny._

"_I don't know," she said._

"_We awe so, Mawjowie!"_

"_Keep your voice down, Grace."_

"_We awe so," Grace whispered._

"_So?"_

"_So just come out fow a minute."_

"_I can't, I'm ready for bed." _

_The two little girls stood there for a moment, Marjorie behind the screen, Grace on the steps, her eyes starting to wander. Marjorie's mom called to her, "Marjorie, close the door, there's a draft."_

"_I have to go," Marjorie told Grace._

"_Claiwe nevew went home," Grace said worriedly."_

_Marjorie glanced over her shoulder and tightened the cord of her housecoat, then whispered furtively, "Are you retarded, Grace?"_

_Grace looked lost. She reached out for Marjorie's arm but got the screen instead. "Mawjowie?" her voice trembled and her eyes filled with tears. "What happened to hew?"_

"_You killed her, Grace. That's what happened. Now go home." Marjorie closed the door, leaving Grace to stand out on the step, crying._


	13. Chapter 13

"Lil."

"What?"

"Maybe I should drive."

"Why?" But it didn't really matter; she was already digging in her bag for the keys.

"You're shaking."

She located her keys and handed them to Scotty without saying a word just as they walked up to her car. He took them from her and as he did, patted her hand, noticing that she didn't pull away. "It'll be okay," he said quietly as they got in the car. "It'll all be okay."

The drive back to Lilly's house was so deafeningly quiet that Scotty flipped on the radio, humming along with the familiar song to calm his own nerves. At a stoplight, he turned to Lilly and noticed that she had fallen asleep. Sighing, he turned the radio down and felt guilty for what felt like the hundredth time in a month.

* * *

Lilly was still asleep when they pulled up to her house. Scotty left the keys in the ignition and didn't bother to wake her up.

"Christina." He pulled the door open without ringing the bell. "Christina! Where are you?"

"Down here." He followed the sound of her voice to the basement.

"Where's Lilly?"

"Asleep in the car. C'mon."

"I don't know if…"

"If…?"

"I can get up."

Scotty sighed and pulled on her hand. "You have a hospital bag?"

She held one up.

"Good. Now come on."

"Scotty?"

"What?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. Just come on." He opened the car doors and helped Christina get in.

* * *

"Lil, wake up. We're there." Scotty shook Lilly's shoulder gently. She stirred, but didn't wake. He turned to Christina. "Chris, I'll come back for Lilly. Come on. Are you okay?" his panic mode was kicking in. He had a sudden, painful yearning for his previous life, for Elisa and organization and nothing toxic in his life, but he pushed it aside. He helped Christina out of the car and kissed her hair lightly, wondering again why he felt so damn guilty.

* * *

"I hate this." Lilly stood up and paced for the millionth time in four hours. "I've never been so tense." She sat down heavily. "I hate hospitals."

Scotty said nothing, just offered her a drink.

"This must be how my mother felt," she said quietly, taking a sip.

"What?"

"Never mind." She leafed through a Parents magazine and tapped her foot nervously.

A tall doctor came down the hallway and stood gravely in front of Lilly and Scotty.

"Christina is out of surgery," he said.

"And the baby?"

"A girl. She's very sick, and was rushed to the neo-natal intensive care unit immediately following birth. She's going to be there awhile."

"But she's alive?"

"Yes, and within a few months, she should be just fine."

"What's her name?"

"I'm not sure."

"Can we see Christina?"

"Of course." The doctor led Lilly and Scotty down a long, clean hallway, into a room marked 69-M. Christina smiled when they walked in. "Hi."

"You have a daughter," Lilly said seriously.

"I know. I named her Sunshine."

"Sunshine?"

Christina shrugged. "The sun was shining."

"Maybe you should think this through."

"No. She's Sunshine."

Lilly shook her head. "She's very sick."

"She'll get better."

"You don't get it, do you?" Lilly snapped. "She's going to be sick forever. Even if she does make it out of the hospital, she's going to be sick for the rest of her life, and it's your fault." She left the room, shutting the door heavily behind her.

Christina started to cry, and Scotty stood silently, trying to decide whether to follow Lilly or comfort Christina.


	14. Chapter 14

It was all over the morning news two days later, of course, but Lilly didn't even register it. She had taken the day off and was spending it sitting by Sunshine's "bed" in the NICU, since Christina hadn't shown any interest in her past the first day, when Lilly had snapped and stormed and Scotty had stayed and comforted her.

"Poor Sunny," Lilly crooned. "You don't have a family, do you, Sunny? Where's your daddy now, hmm? It'll be okay, Sunny. I'm sorry about your mommy and daddy, Sunny. Your daddy, he's a good guy, but he's got a nasty habit of attaching himself to the wrong people…and…your mommy isn't the greatest mommy in the world, but we can't blame her for that, she doesn't know any better. That's okay." She stroked the baby's soft, translucent skin gently, observing her tiny size—her hand, when spread, could wrap nearly all the way around the baby's back. "I'll take care of you. You won't have to be like your mommy. I won't let you be like your mommy."

* * *

Across the city, Scotty didn't register the news coverage, either. He, too, had taken the day off, but was spending it in a cemetery, under a willow tree.

"Why aren't you here, Elisa? None of this would have happened if you were here. Why'd you have to die? I didn't know how to help you, but I would've if I could've." He stopped long enough to wipe his eyes, then raged onward. "I hate that you're not here, you'd know what to do." He punched the ground near the gravestone. "I have a daughter," he said quietly. "I have a daughter, and she's in the hospital. I can't see her…because I'm too scared. I'm scared she's going to die too, so I can't make myself love her if she's just going to go away, just like you. You'd hate me if you knew whose baby she is. You'd at least have a decent reason to jump off the bridge if you knew what your logical, rational Scotty did. And it's your fault, don't you know? If you hadn't died, she wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't be scared she was going to die. I'm leaving now, Elisa, if you were listening." He gave the gravestone a good kick and walked away angrily, ignoring the pain in his foot. He was going to go see that baby. Nobody else would.

* * *

He walked into the hospital, still limping slightly because of the force of his kick to the gravestone, and asked to be directed to the neo-natal intensive care unit to see Sunshine Rush. He was led upstairs and down a long hallway into a spacious room full of babies of varying sizes. He was directed to a tiny baby in a corner by a window, whose cot was decorated with her name (with a sun behind it—What had Chris been thinking?) and a few pictures—one of which he recognized from Lilly's house. He sat down awkwardly in a chair by the cot and was told that he could talk to her, touch her, anything—being involved with loved ones helps to make a speedy recovery. When the doctor left, he reached in and gently touched the tip of the baby's ear with his smallest finger for a fleeting second.

"Uh…hi," he said. "I'm…your dad. My name is Scotty…but…uh…you can call me Daddy…because I'm your daddy. And, I wanted to say I'm sorry. But I'll take care of you. Just as soon as we can bust you out of here…um…I guess I should call you by your name, huh, Sunshine? You know, I used to know somebody else named Sunshine. Well, her name wasn't really Sunshine, I just called her that, cause she was sunny…she was bright. Her real name was Elisa. Logically, she should've been your mommy…but…uh…she died. And that's when I got mixed up with your mom…now, don't get me wrong, Sunshine, your mom would be great, but she's not real good at responsibility. That's where I come in. Anyway, like I was saying, once I can bust you outta here—I hate hospitals—once I can bust you outta here, we're going to have lots of fun. I'll take you to the park and on walks and stuff. Oh, and to Disneyland. We're going to go to Disneyland. And if you don't like your name, don't worry, I don't like it much either, so we can change it if you want. And we'll have swimming lessons and McDonalds and…" he paused for a moment and glanced up to see Lilly standing there, silent and smiling. "Uh…just a second, Sunshine." He straightened his tie and looked sheepishly at the baby. "Hey, Lil…what are you doing here?"

"Listening."

"How long have you been…uh…listening?"

"I just spoke to a social worker."

"About?"

"Sunshine's situation. I assumed she'd end up a foster kid if I couldn't be granted custody…and…so we were discussing our options."

"I'm her dad." Suddenly, Scotty was upset. What if Sunshine was taken away?

"And that's why you need to talk to a social worker. Since you're fit she'll probably get to stay with you. I hope."

He nodded, processing what he'd been told. "Just another second, Sunshine. I have to go do some grown-up stuff. You stay here with your aunt Lilly and I'll be right back." He ran his finger along her ear again and stood up to leave, offering his chair to Lilly as he went. "I promise I'll be back."

* * *

Several hours later, when Lilly was home again, curled on the couch with her cats, she finally had a minute to breathe—and to reflect. Who knew that you could possibly cram so much (both good and bad) into the space of a year, let alone a month and a half? She picked Claire's picture up off the coffee table again and studied it.

"Do you feel better now?" she asked no one in particular. "After holding that in for so long, do you feel better? Because I do." She stroked Olivia's head and put the picture down. "Sometimes it hurts so much that we don't even notice it until someone else brings it to the surface…but then once it's there, it doesn't hurt so much anymore. You weren't wrong; you weren't even bad…" an image flashed through her head, Marjorie and Grace and Claire, off to play. "It was just a game. Just a little game among schoolchildren." Sighing, she set Olivia down and headed to bed with the promise of something new residing pleasantly in the back of her mind.

_A/N: Well…there you go. I can't believe it's finished. I'm amazed. While this story is done, there's a new story to be told…the story of Sunshine._


End file.
